Finding the Strength to Do What You Love.

A popular piece of advice that gets thrown around often is: ‘Do what you love.’

It’s an easy thing to say and it rings true for all of us. Of course, in our finite time here on this planet we should all be striving to spend as much time as possible doing what we love. The trite nature of the advice suggests that it’s an absolute no-brainer.

So why are so many of us not doing what we love?

It’s staggering how much of humanity is not following their true passions but rather are locked into other pursuits because of societal influence, lack of opportunity, a scarcity mindset or a thousand other factors that get in the way of this rather simple piece of wisdom. It’s just not as easy as it sounds to pull off a life where you can do what you love. You have to be incredibly intentional with the way you live your life in order to have any chance of achieving this holy grail.

Appeasing Others

If I think back to my childhood, growing up as a black man in an African household — a career in fashion was just not palatable to my family. Even though it was something I was incredibly passionate about and the interest had deep roots coming from my grandmother, it just didn’t sound like a stable enough route for someone like me. My identity and societal upbringing demanded I put those creative passions aside and take on something more traditional. So, I did. I went to college to grind through something I didn’t actually enjoy in order to appease other people.

But the pull of art, design, fashion and entrepreneurship was too strong and eventually it pulled me back in. I had to learn to put the opinions of others aside and go for what I really wanted. No one could see the image in my head and the only way I was going to get there was to take the reins myself and ignore the opinions of others.

This is something that we all struggle with. As social creatures we are so concerned with how others view us and what status we have because it’s the key currency when trying to belong. Sadly, for many of us, when we go to tackle that thing that we most love, there will be an army of nay-sayers, near and far, who will dissuade us from going for it. We have to learn to ignore those voices and stay true to who we are.

Imposter Syndrome

The next voice that we need to learn to ignore is the negative one in our own head. As with most things in life, our worldview dictates how we experience the good, bad and the ugly of our lives. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves determine how content or happy we are. It’s not material items, it’s not status, it’s not peak experiences — it’s the way we talk to ourselves when no-one else can hear.

When you’re taking a risk and chasing after something that you love, your brain’s fear response will kick into high gear. Before you know it, your initial excitement is often crowded out by insecurity, negativity and doubt. Our minds are able to generate hundreds of vivid scenarios where this risk we are about to take blows up in our faces.

Who are you to take on this?

Why should anyone care about what you have to say?

Why would anyone pay for this?

You’ve messed up in the past, why would this be any different?

If we heard these sorts of sentiments out loud, we’d be horrified. But the truth is that so many of us carry these thoughts around with us all the time. This imposter syndrome gets in the way of us truly giving everything we have to achieve a goal. It’s the breeding ground for procrastination and self-sabotage. And it’s all self-imposed.

But we have the power to turn these narratives around. In order to chase what we really love; we have to push those doubts aside and embrace the risk and uncertainty. Nothing worth having ever came without a risk of failure and if we don’t feed that imposter syndrome then it grows weaker and weaker. If we can show ourselves that we are going to be courageous and enthusiastic and throw everything we have into it — no matter what happens — then those doubts can be turned into fuel that pushes you toward what you really want. This comes from a commitment to self-awareness and brutal honesty with yourself. It’s not easy, but it’s a crucial component.

Building the Right Community

The last piece I want to talk about here is commonly bandied about but I still think it’s very underrated. We don’t do this alone. Life is not a single-player game. In order to do what we love and find a way to make it sustainable, we must look to surround ourselves with like-minded people who share a similar vision as us.

We are deeply influenced by the people that we spend our time with. Jim Rohn famously said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you spend time with people who are negative, pessimistic, patronizing or uninspired — then you can’t expect to draw the energy you would need to chase after something that you love. You’ll be dragged down with them.

But if you spend the time and effort to cultivate relationships with people who inspire you, who push you to be better, who encourage you to go for your dreams — then you’re in with a chance. Think carefully about your community and choose it wisely — it could be the most important, invisible decision you ever make.

It’s not easy to accomplish any of this. It takes dedication, hard work, the right mindset and a bit of luck. But it’s more achievable than most people realize. Most people don’t even try and they will carry that regret for the rest of their lives. The spoils in life go to those who throw themselves into the arena and chase what truly brings them alive.

The journey towards that ideal is filled with meaning and fulfillment.

Don’t sell yourself short.

Do what you love.